Well-it finally happened. I had my baby and he is absolutely beautiful. It has now been over a week since little Owen entered into the world and the whole event is still a little unbelievable. It was a beautiful experience that has thrown my emotions into whirlwind. My emotions are constantly sneaking up on me and then having their way with me. At first I was very emotional about no longer having the little guy living inside of me. I was reminiscent of everything we had gone through together in the 9 long months he spent inside of me. Next I was emotional about trying to breastfeed and realizing it was not the thing for me. Now I am emotional about how quickly my few weeks home with my baby are disappearing. He is just a little over a week old, but already so many little moments are slipping by into the past and he is getting older and starting to change. I try to tell myself constantly that I cannot dwell on all of these things. I need to live in the moment. Realizing how precious these moments are right now is helping me to take it a day at a time. This is not easy for me. I wish there was some way that I could pause all of my physical needs in order to fulfill all of my emotional needs. Unfortunately I have to eat, I have to sleep, and I have to continue on with life. The world has not stopped for me.

Throughout my whole pregnancy there was no shortage of advice from every mother I encountered along the way. Still, none of the advice I was given could have ever prepared me for how much becoming a parent would change my entire life. I no longer view the world the same way. It's no longer about me-it's about my beautiful baby boy. It's about being a mother and being only one part of a family. It is very intense. I have come to realize that this is just a new turn on the journey of life. I am excited, nervous, scared, and ready for change all at the same time. I am extremely lucky to have such a wonderful husband and a beautiful baby to walk beside me on this journey.

I am going on 37 wks pregnant this week. I am huge and tired and ready to meet my new baby. I cannot remember the last time I wore normal clothes and I am starting to worry about how long it will take for me to fit back into my normal clothes after the baby comes. I have to force myself not to think too long and hard about it because I know it will only make me depressed-which is silly. I will just worry about that when the time comes.

Being pregnant has made me think long and hard about a lot of different things. It has made me think about my marriage, and my life up to this point, and about how my parents are getting older. The latter part just makes me sad. I see my parents turning into their parents and it worries me. I wish that there was some magical way that I could make them young and strong again.

As for my marriage-well, I have thought about how I could be a better wife. I have also thought about how much of our "alone" time together I have wasted being mad or upset over something silly. I can never get those moments back and now we are having a baby. The only thing I can do now is try my hardest to learn from my mistakes and make sure that I do not waste any more time over foolish feelings.

And last, but not least, I have thought a lot about my life up to this point. What I have accomplished, what I have not. If I am just dreaming up a some perfect life that I will never have and then letting myself be secretly disappointed when I know I will never have that life. I'm finding it harder and harder as I grow older not to get swept up in the whole "keeping up with the Joneses" attitude. I see friends and acquaintances who have nice jobs, nice cars, and nice homes and I wonder why I cannot have the same. At the same time I can honestly say that I love my hodge podge life. I love my little family and our little collection of stuff. We haven't had much luck with vehicles, but we are getting by and I know that God is continually providing for us and I am very grateful. I just need to learn to keep the right perspective.

After all of these thoughts things do not seem any easier, or clearer, but they remind me to be thankful for what I have. I have a husband who loves me, a baby on the way, my parents are close by, and we are managing fine. Can I really ask for more?

It has been rainy today-all day. It's definitely one of those days when you just want to hide under the covers in your pajamas-which I have actually had the luxury of doing. I have been putting off taking a shower for hours and now I am thinking about making dinner and getting ready to watch American Idol. Ike and Joni are sleeping peacefully beside me and it is just nice to sit around in a quite house and just relax.

Tomorrow I will be 30wks along in my pregnancy. The closer it gets the more nervous I become about the labor and delivery. I keep telling myself that women all over the world give birth to babies every single day and that I can totally handle it, but it doesn't really make me any less nervous. Plus, I made the mistake of watching a couple episodes of the Baby Story on TLC and that REALLY made me nervous. Even after all the stories I have heard and all the stuff I have seen on TV I really have no idea what to expect. All I know for sure is that it is going to hurt during labor and after and that I should just be prepared to ask for a lot of drugs.


There have been no more developments with Ike's job for the time being and things have pretty much just settled back down to normal. I think that in a way he thinks that he missed out-even though his boss has tried to reassure him. Ike is starting to get to the point where if something doesn't happen soon then he may begin looking for another job. I don't want to try to sway his decision in any way, but I sometimes think that it may be good for him to just get back out there and see if there is something else he could do for awhile. I think a change of pace would be nice for him. Unfortunately I think he has just found himself in a nice, comfortable position that he is not willing to give up quickly.

As for now,with the Plemon's family, Christmas has come and gone and we have both started to greatly anticipate the arrival of our new baby. I think this little baby will change our lives in more ways than we can even imagine at this point. Life is crazy, but I am thankful for the little life that my husband and I share. Each day is a new adventure with new lessons learned and more memories to be tucked away.

It is a new day, a new month, and a new year. I am now 28 wks pregnant and since the passing of the holidays I have become very nervous about giving birth. Time has gone by so quickly and I am sure that the next couple of months will be no different. I have to say that my pregnancy, up to this point, has been very manageable. I have not had any problems and I know that I am truly blessed. I have learned to take the pregnancy a day at time and just try to not let it keep me from doing the things that I would normally do. Unfortunately I have slacked off on my walking routine quite a bit, but I blame the weather along with the pregnancy for that. After getting some new encouragement from my husband's aunt I am going to try to pick it back up again.

The situation with my husband's job has not really changed much. He did meet with the owner of the company. The owner did want Ike to take over a store in Murphreesboro, TN, but after much deliberation and discussion everyone came to the realization that the timing is not right. So,for now, Ike is helping his manager train the guy who will be taking over the Murphreesboro store for the time being. Once again Ike and I are going to have to play the waiting game to see exactly how all of it will pan out in the end.

My parents are now living across town from me and it is really different. My mother is very happy to be so close to her children and I am grateful that they are both here to help me. Just the other day my mom came over and helped me to do some cleaning. The extra help was wonderful. I love having my mom so close, but at the same time they do cause me extra stress. I do not want to go into detail about it all, but I honestly worry for them both and I want to take care of them. I'm not sure where this feeling came from, but it has definitely become a lot stronger since they have moved here. It is something I will have to pray about.

I did not make any resolutions for this year, but I do have some things in mind that I would like to focus on. I want to focus on my relationship with God, my marriage, managing my stress, and of course I would like to focus on being a good parent. I have the tendency to immediately want to run away when things get tough and even though I cannot run away-I let the thought of running away consume my mind. This year I want to try and fix that problem. I have come to realize that I am pretty strong woman and I can handle more than I think. I just thank God every day that He has blessed me with a husband who never ceases to be an encouragement to me in this area. I also thank God for an old friend who first showed me that I was emotionally strong enough to make it through. Without these two people in my life I think that things could be a lot different.